They Make Me Laugh...

I try to stop myself from just outright laughing at my kids and their craziness all day long. But almost every evening, as I relate my day to my very attentive husband (he usually laughs at the right moments at least) I have at least one thing to share that makes us both chuckle.

Here's a few of our more recent laughable moments:

1) Scarlet is now afraid of things. She has discovered the world of pretend and monsters. It is now a big deal if everyone heads upstairs and leaves her downstairs by herself because of the many creatures that just might get her. The invisible monstrosities usually include tigers, witches, and the occasional vague monster. But the other day, her imaginary fear was just too much.

Mom: Scarlet, go upstairs and go potty so you can get ready for bed.

Scarlet: (delaying in every possible manner)

Mom: (getting frustrated) Scarlet, you get upstairs right now threat threat, warning warning blah blah

Scarlet: But mom, if I go upstairs the giant is going to get me!

(What? I really couldn't help but respond..)

Mom: Scarlet, the only giant in the house is at the foot of the stairs telling you to go get it bed. And believe me, you do not want to make this giant more mad at you.

Seriously, my kid? Afraid of giants? Be careful about looking in the mirror in ten years babe.

2) I spent a long day at a dance event yesterday. Jon spent the afternoon with the kids and took them swimming. Then they came and picked me up. Jon loaded all my stuff while the kids ran wild in the lobby. Rhode was wearing only swim shorts, no shirt. He came up to me with wide eyes and said, "mama! Pee pee!" Not an uncommon thing. He likes to inform me when he is peeing in his diaper. He is not really interested in putting said pee in the potty... so anyway, I told him that was great.

A few minutes later, he said "mama! pee pee! shoe!" I looked down out of curiosity only to find a stream of liquid coming from his shorts, down his leg, and into his sandal. He wasn't wearing a diaper! Not even a swim one! I was very impressed with the verbal skills of one of the boys in my family.

3) Scarlet is a dress wearing fiend. She has taken the summer dress with leggings look and made it her one obsession. I used to think it was so odd when I would hear of girls who complained about wearing shorts and jeans. Now I have one. It's a dress or it's a battle.

a) Her first funny dressing quirk is her differencing between a skirt, a dress, and a long shirt. Dresses are the best, skirts are pretty good, and long shirts are only acceptable on rare occasions. How does she categorize them you may ask? Well. Skirts require finding a shirt to match them and mom doesn't have the same opinions on coordinating. Scarlet believes pink skirts match pink shirts... shade of pink or any other pattern matter little. On the days where daddy lets her dress herself, she usually looks really good.

The difference between a long shirt with leggings and a dress with leggings is quite simple in her mind. Dresses spin. Long shirts do not. If it doesn't spin, she is not really interested.

b) Now that she has determined her outfits of choice, Sundays have become a whole new day of battle. Why, you ask? Because we don't wear leggings with our Sunday dressed.

"But mom, my legs! They are so cold!"

In 110 degree weather?

"But mom, everyone will see my panties!"

Then stop sitting spread eagle in Sacrament meeting

"But mom, I just really like having my pants!"

It's a rough life kid.

4) Our best story of the month was actually in Moses Lake. We had a few hours to kill one day so Jon, Kristy, the kids and I packed up a picnic and took it out to the state park. Scarlet and Rhode spent about ten minutes on the play equipment before begging for food. I figured it was going to be a quick trip if they were already bored of the toys. We took them down to the lake shore for a quick look before we left. They were greeted by a very large, very dead, and very stinky fish to the far side of the wading area.

An hour later, we were still there. Why, you ask? Well, turns out my children, 50% are petrified of even the sight of the ocean, have no objections with green lake water and nearby rotting fish corpses.

No swim clothes, no towels, no clean clothes to change into. We were left with few options as to how to get our muddy, sandy, lake stinky kids home.

Ha ha, that one still makes me laugh.

Of course, everything seems a lot funnier after they have gone to bed. :)

*** ignore these repeat pictures. I can't get them off!!!

Car Trip Calendar Craziness

Oh, to be home again! I love to travel but at some point, it is just nice to sleep in your own bed, go to your own ward, and, above all else, it is really nice not be in the car anymore.

We have been doing more than our fair share of traveling over the past month or so. Here's a quick rundown of our adventures:

May 11-13 California

May 14-17 Utah

May 26-28 Utah

June 6-13 Washington

June 14-18 Utah

May 11-13 in California, getting a few projects done and getting in some serious beach time. We crashed our entire family on our friend's couch. It is amazing any of us lived through the experience. I give a lot of props to mom co-sleepers because there is nothing that brings me closer to losing it than having a three year old kick me in the face all night long.

We learned a few interesting things about the kids though. Turns out we are raising a big bunch of wusses. I don't know where we went wrong...

Rhode was TERRIFIED by the beach. Something about those waves washing up against the shore put him into an absolute panic. So he and I spent most of our time at the farthest point possible from the water's edge, trying to be distracted by digging sand holes and crunching dried up seaweed. Every now and again, he would still give the water his evil eye, made sure it knew what he thought about it. Shockingly, the water did not seem too perturbed by this.

Scarlet is not the biggest wimp in the world. She was a bit more daring but not by much. Of course I took absolutely no pictures of the trip at all and this is all I have to show from our trip.

Gotta love a great picture of someone else's kid. Heck, it's a better picture of the dog than of my kids.

May 14-17 (notice the one day between this and our last trip) in Utah staying with Jon's sister, Cara and family. Having them in Utah is really nice. Not that I don't love intruding in on my cousin's lives all the time (because I actually do love it) you always feel a little less of a burden when it's a sibling whose life you are disrupting. Not only did they let us crash at their house but they watched our kids a ton. It was awesome.

May 26-28 back in Utah and back at Ben and Cara's. They must really love us to see that much of us in that short amount of time. And they only kicked us out like one time! Ok, that didn't really happen.

***Funny side story****

When Jon and I were dating, he took me on a trip to Lake Powell with his family. Before we got there, he must have told me a million times, "Nielsen's help out, they aren't going to like you if you are being lazy and not being helpful." Thanks for the pep talk buddy.

So I spent the week in turbo helpful mode. Not only did I spend most of the day washing dishes and making meals but by the end of the weekend, every woman on the boat had two french braids courtesy of Kacey's hair styling skills. They loved me.

Not that I wouldn't have been helpful otherwise, I'm not that lazy, but Jon really got me in a frenzy. From then on, whenever we were staying with his family, I was like a cleaning machine the whole time trying to be helpful. I also totally love when someone has cleaned up for me so I try to spread the joy ya know?

Anyway, after five years of knowing me, Cara had never stayed at my house. But they were here for Thanksgiving. She then admits to me that for years she thought I was a total neat freak, just as clean and organized as possible. As she told me this, I could just imagine my mother's reaction to this. She would either faint with shock or be rolling on the floor with laughter. Her daughter, a neat freak? Hilarious. Well, a week at my house got her over that idea quickly.

*** Back to Crazy Calendar***

On June 6th (a week later) we flew from Las Vegas to Pasco and stayed a week with my family. It was recital weekend, graduation, and my dad's big annual golf tournament. Most of my family will find it funny that I mention it was graduation that weekend. All week, people asked, 'oh, are you guys in town for graduation?' because that was why all of their supportive relatives were there.

Nope, in fact of the 13 of us that were in town, only my mom went to watch Kylie graduate. I'm not sure I would have made an appearance towing the kids either way, but it was a no-brainer when I found out they were graduating on Lion's Field in the middle of the afternoon. Not awesome. So Rhode, Scarlet, Kristy, Trevor and I supported Kylie across the street at the aquatic center.

My kids love being at Grandma Peggy's house. And who can blame them? A TV screen that makes Dora the same size as Scarlet that would be turned on by any member of the family (except mom and dad that is, they stopped asking us after awhile). Snacks of all kinds within fingertip reach. And, if they were just a little out of the way, there was always some willing aunt in the kitchen ready to make their M&M wish come true.

It really hit the pinnacle, though, when we took a little trip to Walmart with Grandma Peggy and she went through the toy aisle, just haphazardly tossing shiny, noisy objects into the cart at will. My kids eyes were as big as saucers at the glory to behold.

"Mom!" I told her, "my kids do not know you can take the toys home from stores. They think they are just there for the occasional button pushing when mom is in a nice mood!"

"But I don't have enough toys at the house!" she replied, "they'll be fine."

Says the woman who lives four states away.

It is a true miracle we were even able to get our kids to leave.

We got back late Sunday night and I took off Monday for Utah once again. This time, sans the rest of the Nielsen family... and with the only car we own. So Jon and the kids spent four carless and momless days. It was quite the adventure.

I, on the other hand, had my own kind of adventure. This time, I stayed with Courtney in her BYU apartment. It was so surreal. Roommates, who's turn to empty the dishwasher, 10 p.m. is still early, talking about the most random things until finally someone stops talking and everyone instantly passes out. No kids, no car seats, no nap times, it was the craziest couple of days. I enjoyed it to its full potential.

At some point, Rhode figured out how to call me from the house phone. So every now and again, i would get a call from what I thought was Jon, but instead hear a very excited, "mama?!" He never had much to say other than that but he was pretty stoked his button pushing would work.

Now I am back home but not for long. Maybe with all of this traveling, this miserable Las Vegas summer will be over before we know it! It's already August right? No... only June?

It's not working.