Violated

We were robbed today.  In the middle of the day.  I had been gone for less than four hours.  In that amount of time, people entered our house, took our belongings and left me feeling so incredibly vulnerable.

I didn't notice anything at first.  I noticed my downstairs computer wasn't where I left it.  It wasn't until I walked into my room and found half of my clothing drawers emptied onto the ground.  I asked my kids which one of them had pulled out all my clothes.  It only took a minute or two for me to realize this was not an inside job.  Of course, in that minute or two, Rhode outright declared that he had seen Scarlet commit the deed with his own eyes.  That child.

For so many reasons, it is nice to be a house that is free of prescription drugs and hidden wads of cash, but it was especially useful today.  There are many things they could have taken that they did not.  I don't know why they didn't but in my frustration I can be grateful for that.  We will miss the things that were taken but nothing was irreplaceable or even held any kind of value other than monetary.

What they did take that I will never get back was my little safety bubble.  I know I don't live in the best of neighborhoods but I always felt like my crazy neighbors and I had an unspoken agreement.  If you live in this neighborhood, you don't have anything worth taking anyway.  The imaginary code has been broken.

While Rhode seems generally oblivious, Scarlet is very aware of everything that happened today.  Some of her comments have been, "I think they might have taken our stuff because they didn't have stuff and they thought that they needed more stuff."  Or "I am a little scared, but mom, when you say a prayer will you thank Heavenly Father that our family is safe even though bad people came in our house?"

Right before bed, she asked me, "Will they come back?"  I snuggled the two of them in my bed and we had a good chat about why they might have taken things from our house and why they wouldn't be coming back since mom and dad are there.

" Mom, I have an idea.  What if we leave a note on the front door that says

Dear robbers,
We are home now.  Do not come into our house to take our things.  We will be upstairs and we will come down and scare you!

Isn't that a good idea mom?"

And right before I turned off the lights in her room she said, "I love you mom!  Keep us safe!"

And at that moment I realized what was really making me feel so horrible about the whole ordeal.  It was one of those many times when you realize you can't protect your children from all of the bad out there.  Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, the bad is going to get in.

Tomorrow will be okay.  But tonight, I am going to let myself grieve at the loss of a little of my children's innocence.