Stories

#1

Jon and I were quickly dropping off a Redbox at 7-11 with the kids in the backseat when a guy pulled up next to us.

"Hey, you guys want some designer perfume and cologne?" he asked.

Since neither Jon nor I had ever purchased either of those items ever, we decided it was not a necessary 7-11 parking lot expenditure.

"No, that's not really our thing. Thanks," Jon commented while getting in the car.

"What about some samples?" he continued.

"Really," Jon countered, "we're good, thanks." He then shut the door of the car.

The guy threw his car in reverse and hit the gas while shouting, "What a douche!" and driving off.

I froze for a minute, then tried to act casual, hoping my children hadn't been paying too much attention.

It only took about 10 second before Scarlet asked, "Dad, are you really a juice?"

"A what?"

"A juice."

Rhode then chimed in, "Dad's a juice, dad's a juice!" as we sped down the road. The catchy tune later turned into all of the kinds of juice their dad really was. "Dad's an orange juice, dad's an apple juice!" and so on.

The song got old but it was SO MUCH better than the alternative.

#2

"Your daughter had a rough time in Singing time today," my friend shared. (She recently got called to Primary, I LOVE having a spy in there!)

"She did?! She loves singing time?"

"Yeah, it got pretty heated there for a minute. She was arguing with Sis. Hilton and was almost in tears!"

Seriously?

About what?

Well, poor Sis. Hilton requested all of the primary children stand up and sing "If You're Happy and You Know It." My know-it-all sunbeam insisted that was definitely not a primary song and not only would she not be singing it but nobody else should be either. That was a song that was not allowed in church.

Sheesh.

We had a good chat about who was in charge of Singing time and who was definitely NOT EVER in charge of singing time.

#3

Scarlet has decided to refer to me as "mother". Everything she requests of me is now said in a sickly sweet, oozing with politeness tone, "Mother, can you please help me reach that snack?"

It mostly makes me laugh but when she does it in public I definitely get some strange looks. As her own father put it, "Now instead of just sounding bossy, she sounds really pretentious." If she upgrades daddy to "father", we might need to intervene... for her sake.

#4

We got to spend Memorial day weekend up at a friend's cabin in Kolob with two other families. I was going to do a whole blog post on the weekend but I have yet to procure any pictures from the weekend and with my pregnant brain I can't actually remember anything we did. I am pretty sure we had fun...

But my kids now frequently ask if we can go back to Uncle Alan's cabin. Yeah, they don't have an Uncle Alan, their friends Blaze and Bennett do. They also don't have an Aunt Nini or a Grandma Nona or a Papa (that lives in Las Vegas). I am starting to think we need to attend less family gatherings at the Stouts. We have plenty of our own extended family to keep track of (I still don't know what my kids should call my cousins kids) and my kids are starting to get very confused.