Doing the Math

Tonight, Baskin Robbins had their annual 31 cent scoop night. Now going out to ice cream is something only really rich and really stupid people who don't realize you can get five times as much ice cream for the same price at the grocery store do (at least that is what I have convinced my children). That is, unless the scoops happen to be on sale for 31 cents.

So right at 5 p.m. you could find yours truly with her two wiggly children in line in front of the neighborhood ice cream store, anxiously awaiting our turn.

**** Adorable Pre-Story****

While in the car on the way to ice cream, I was energizing my back seat crowd.

"Who wants ice cream, raise your hand!"

"Me!!! Me!!!"

"Who wants ice cream, raise your hands higher!"

"Me!!! Me!!!"

Scarlet interrupted our sporting ritual and said, "Mom, this reminds me of church." (No, we don't regularly head out to ice cream on Sunday)

"Why, Scarlet?"

"Because in church, they ask us if we want something and everyone raises their hand like this," she said while demonstrating how we sustain in Sacrament meeting.

Too funny

Anyway,

****Back to Main Post ****

So there we are standing in line with the best of the best type of crowd for the next 30 minutes. And let me tell you, it was quite the 30 minutes. It all started going downhill when I noticed the four year old boy in front of us wouldn't stop coughing. I should say rather he couldn't stop hacking up a lung for about 10 minutes straight. I held my children as far of a distance as possible, and the thought crossed my mind '31 cent ice cream sure wouldn't be worth it if my kids got that cough.'

And that is when he threw up.

It wasn't like a stomach dump, more like a cough so hard he gagged many, many times. His mom calmly pulled him to the side to let him get it all out behind a nearby column. And, when he was done, she wiped off his mouth with her hand, left his throw up for the rest of us to admire right where it was, and got back in line! I am seriously considering begging the people in front of us take cuts. Of course, everyone behind us caught the same scene so nobody was taking our place. I tightened my reigns on Rhode and Scarlet but stayed put the whole time wondering what horrible disease I was probably infecting my children with at the moment. Again, at one point thought, 'If my kids come down with whooping cough tomorrow, 31 cent ice cream probably will not have been worth it.'

Two families to go and Scarlet decided she desperately needs to use the bathroom. There is no restroom in the Baskin Robbins and the restaurant we are standing immediately next to has one of those 'Restroom for customers only' signs that was larger than the name of their store. The very nice lady behind us offered to let us run down the strip mall to find a restroom while she held our spot. With Rhode in my arms and Scarlet trailing, we ran the entire length of the strip mall. Of the 10 doors, only 2 held actual businesses and both were already closed. The rest were big empty buildings. Stupid economy.

So we trudged back in line and Scarlet luckily got a second wind and was able to hold it. I then though, 'If Scarlet pees on the ground and soaks her clothes and shoes right as we walk in this store and I have to order ice cream for her while she screams out of embarrassment and wetness, 31 cent ice cream would so not be worth it."

Thankfully, that did not happen.

We got our scoops without any loss of bladder control and headed out the door. Now you couldn't eat inside the store but I figured we would just pull up some sidewalk and enjoy our cones. That is when the wind kicked in, big time. We could hardly keep our cones upright much less pause to enjoy them. So the ice cream outing got moved to my freshly detailed car.

I opened the passenger door for Scarlet and, before I even had time to remind her to be careful, her cone snapped in two and the entire scoop of ice cream splatted onto my freshly shampooed mat.

We recovered the ice cream and shut the doors to keep the gusting wind out when we realized it was really hot in the car. So, I turned on the car to run the A/C wondering how much it was costing me in gas to eat my 31 cent ice cream.

Cones were finished without any further problems and both parties were pretty satisfied with their treat. Unfortunately, I couldn't help but run a few numbers as I buckled my kids into their car seats. If they do get sick from the crazy puker and I have to take them both to the doctor, if I decided to get my now sticky car detailed again, if I totaled up the gas burned while we enjoyed our cones, plus included the time it took to actually procure them...

Suddenly my 31 cent cone costs me about $85 a scoop.

But the truly scary part is Carvel is having a free ice cream day tomorrow and I'm not totally convinced the Nielsens won't be making an appearance.